Today started out great, nothing to crazy like we usually have to struggle with when dealing with our son. It wasn't until his night meds and shower time that things got ugly. And when I say ugly it was really bad. His dad had asked him to take his medicine, which he takes Zoloft & Lamictal for his seizures. After that he proceeded to argue by not wanting to take his shower. He walks past his dad n yells out "A$$hole". His dad is trying to ignore the name calling but then iyr son takes a swing at him. By now he's punching and kicking his dad. There's nothing I can really do to step in without risking getting punched so I yell out to our other son to come help. This goes on for about I'd say ten to fifteen minutes.
Finally I'm able to get him into the shower but yet he still has a few names to yell out to me. I think he got the point how angry he made his dad by hitting him because his dad broke his favorite toys and threw em in the trash. To me I think that was kinda harsh but hey he can't be hitting anyone.
I guess I should say what our situation is to tell my problem. But I don't want to ever think of it well my son as a problem. When he was fifteen months old he became ill. I was taking him back n forth to the doctor for a week, only for them to say "don't worry he's just got a bad case of the flu". Well we worried! The night before we were to leave on a trip my husband noticed him n said "there's something really wrong with him. Let's take him to the ER". So back again we went, this time he was admitted and they ran test after test and couldn't figure out what was wrong. By early morning his temp hadn't changed he was running a 105.7 for almost 24 hours. They were in doing more blood test but this time another doctor had witnessed the reaction of my son. Even with the needle he didn't cry out, he had told them to do a spinal tap. So they took my son from my arms into another room but a few minutes later we heard code blue. I didn't want to think it was our baby but it was. The nurse stepped into the room asking our religion and if we wanted a priest with us. They rushed us into the room n told us to talk to our son by that time we found out he had stopped breathing. As we entered the room his little body just kinds went limp. He tried to call out to me but he couldn't speak. I don't know if I was in shock at setting my baby like that or what. Just then my husband collapsed. He broke down in tears I reached out to him pulling him to our son. I held my son by his little head calling out to him. Trying to sing his favorite song into his ear. I told him I loved him. As he laid there he just had this blank look in his eyes.
We were told they had to take him by life flight to the childrens hospital. But first they were going to insert the breathing tube. We had to leave him yet again. Only to have almost lost him, we owe our thanks to the male nurse on duty. They all tried inserting but couldn't do it only he was able to. His work in the Neonatal care saved our sons life that day. And to the doctor that caught the problem, Menegitis.
We spent a week in the PICU, he was in a coma for a week. The first three days he went through multiple seizures almost on the hour. We were with him twelve hour shifts then during shift change we had to leave him for an hour. All the fluid in his brain was draining caused so much pressure he had a stroke. Unbelievable a fifteen month old having a stroke! We had to wait it out the first six hours to see if the pressure would ease up or stop. If not then surgery to insert shunts to help the drainage. Lucky for him it stopped, he had so much fluid on the left side of his eye it look like someone hit him. It was the size of a baseball. We didn't know if he had any hope to survive because there wasn't any change in him. But we knew as parents he was still there. We took some little headphones to play his favorite music and his body would react to it.
For two days we sat with him just touching him not able to hold him. It was then the early morning of Mother's day, his nurse on call asked us if we got to hold him yet which we had replied no. She said "well let's get him into your arms its your day". It seemed like it took forever to get him almost like the day he was born. The joy I felt was so unbelievable!! The love I have for the little boy is joyous.
Everyday I can't help but feel guilty for sickness. If I had only made that choice to say no to helping others. If I wouldn't have opened our home to watch those kids, my nephews. Just maybe he wouldn't have became sick. I kept asking her to please take your kids to the doctor if I'm going to watch them. She wouldn't do it, one of her boys had step. He had gotten so sick he ended up having Rheumatoid Arthritis.
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